25, 'male', bi, employed, pierced, tattooed, scarred, split, music lover, music player, otaku, gamer, computer geek, NIN, Tool, star wars, masochist, introvert, former tarheel, hopeful of becoming one again, animal lover, kitty crazy, 'wierd', myspace, not worth your time nor effort, extremely submissive, equally passive, whatever you want me to be...;)
CURRENT/PAST MODS
1/2", 5/8" scalpelled lobes
Pointed Ears
4 ga. punched septum
Ankh branding on left calf
Frost's Vampire Glyph cutting on my chest
Rising Sun design flesh removal on left wrist
Snake/Rose cutting on my right arm
Vampire bite tattoo on my neck
Tongue split
Meatotomy
8ga barbell in tongue
line cuttings on finger
10 ga. CBR in left lobe
12 ga. CBR in left lobe
12 ga. niobium circular barbell in my right nipple
14 ga. CBR in right ear cartiledge
14 ga. CBR in left ear cartiledge
14 ga. CBR in left ear cartiledge
10 ga. barbell in right nipple
14 ga. septum
2009/07/13 22:00 i just met the most 'interesting' door to door church inviting, gospel witnessing person. usually they are very bland, boring people.. very quick to get away from me.. not this guy. i think he was trying very very hard to insult and upset me, to try to get a rise out of me or something.. make me break down in front of him so he could 'save' me... i really don't know what his goal was.. but it was a rather very entertaining exchange of words.. for about an hour and 15 minutes outside my apartment.
after he made his introductions, and gave me his flyer and invited me out.. he just broke right out into 'whats going to happen if you die tonight?'. that completely caught me off guard... no one of these door to door 'shepards' ever give more than just their initial spiel. i assumed him no different, then he just jumps right out with that.. so i was rather speechless.. then he jumps into 'i used to be a freaky weirdo, just like you. i had longer hair like yours and was trying my best to grow a goatee like you.' that was the first sign that this wasn't going to be the typical 'come to my church' experience. so i buckled in for the long run and geared myself up for this conversation. a few more exchanges later, he said something along the lines of
'we can pray right here and now, i can save you on your door step, but i know that's not going to happen.. that's what that flyer i gave you is for. you're going to go back in there and throw it on your dresser next to your drug money and bong and all that other sinful stuff you have and just try to forget about all of this.. but 3 or 4 weeks from now, you're going to see it, and that's when i'm going to get you.'
i had to stop him there and let him know that i'm not that person... i'm not the drug using, whatever the hell he thought of me at that time. i've never used any sort of drugs, i don't break any laws, i was a near perfect student most times, and i have a general compassion for the world and creation and what not... if i didn't i wouldn't have a such a strong feeling of disappointment when i look at it(but that's an issue for another blog).. some how or another this led to me having to explain my views on religion. so i broke it down to him, a very minor straight to the point cut of my 2 blogs further down.. basically saying i had no problem at all with religion, i see it's many usages, i have no problem with 'God'.. the only faith issue i have is with other people. the same people who will be sitting along side you in church, or preaching to you telling you THEIR views of whatever it is they are talking about... people in general are flawed. we have a very hard time seeing outside of our own heads. we create our worlds and our existance and give our lives meaning and such.. all of that i've said before... but how often when you see some other random person on the street or in a store do you observe them, and realize they have a full life themselves they've given meaning to.. and everywhere around, you are surrounded by life and meaning and creation.. yet you just see them as a meer inconvience or annoyance, if you even acknowledge them at all... not just people, but everything all around you. as i hinted to in my song Sibyl... everything in life is possiblity begging for acknowledgement, and that acknowledgement fuels reality. of course, it's probably better for you to ignore them all, because when you do sit back observe, you get the same shame and disappointment in the world i have(but again, that's for a different blog).
his reply to that was, 'yea, when i was first saved and went to church, i said a bunch of crazy stuff like that too." anyways, a bit after that he told me that i was a man. jesus didn't disciple women, only men, and God gave men dominion over the world. if i didn't like how other people acted, or whatever as a man i had a right to make them stop, or just ignore them and walk away... which i had to point out was just further proving my point.. the two options he gave me were to just ignore their existance altogether, or forcibly subject them to my viewpoints.... which is exactly what i was just telling him i took offense with and why i didn't have faith in general humanity.. because that seemingly, and sadly is the typical results.
somehow, all the good drifted out of the converstaion, and i was just sat listening in disbelief as he went on further and further with these ideas of men having dominion over the world... and how men today are wimps, mostly raised by women so all they know how to be are boys... and how boys need a real man like Jesus in their life to learn what it means to be a real man. its not wrong for a real man to come home from work and expect his wife to have dinner on the table, and herself all made up pretty, and to be upset if it's not... but we don't have that anymore. instead the women control the men, treating them like boys.. and that's not how God intended it. granted, that's a brief paraphrase of what he said, but he went on for a good minute on this subject sounding almost like a comidic sterotype of a male chauvanist, yet dead serious the entire time. again, just making me speechless....
there was a tad bit more conversation.. and he went back to insulting me for his closing remarks... saying that i was going to be saved.. he knew it. that right now, i was just a terrible trashy scum of a human, but at least i was open and willing to talk with him(if you can call this talking) and just by that fact he knew that the holy spirit had, and i quote "wormed it's way inside my horrid, disgustingly sinful body" and was going to start changing me from the inside out... and how he knew FOR SURE he'd see me in his church in a few weeks.
and with that, and an hour and 15minutes of my time, he left. quite an interesting experience i must say... and definatly a character... but the thought of being in a church with him having his beliefs preached to me just hurts my soul to think about.
2009/07/01 02:30
i finally has update worthy news!! i got a tattoo today. Scott up at Cape Fear did it for me. Its a custom design i came up with as a 'logo' as it were, for my alter ego Azlynn. its based loosely on a dragonfly.. very simple and basic... originally just 6 lines, but spiced up a little bit before permanently attaching it to my body.. its on the inside of my left wrist, opposite the rising sun scar... and a couple pictures are below.. :p
