Malkavian   Upstate New York Live simply so that others may simply live - Gandhi My name is Suzanne and from 2002 - 2006 I was a professional body piercer. In July, 2006, I decided to stop piercing. I take a lot of medication to treat my thyroid cancer, bipolar disorder, and a few other problems. The side effects of these medications include hand tremors, blurred or double vision, and decreased fine motor skills. Those issues made providing top notch piercing services very difficult, if not impossible. I felt that it was best for me and my clientel to stop piercing. I still run the studio that my husband and I own. Artifex offers all custom tattooing by my husband, Chip Beam. We also offer massage therapy by a WONDERFUL gal, Susan Barker. Top Three: MOVIES - The Matrix, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Gone With the Wind BANDS - Tool, Rammstein, The Cure SOLO ARTISTS - Tori Amos, YoYo Ma, Madonna COMPOSERS - Beethoven, John Williams, Tchaikovsky COMEDIANS - Eddie Izzard, Lewis Black, Denis Leary TV SHOWS - House, Criminal Minds, Buffy the Vampire Slayer CARTOONS - Animaniacs, Family Guy, South Park FOODS - Cheese and Mushroom Pizza, Sesame Tofu, Ice Cream Current Piercings Earlobes - 00 gauge Nostril Vertical Hood Retired Piercings Eyebrow Helix Second pair of earlobes Nipples Navel Tragus Vertical Bridge Tongue Tattoos Left Side of Neck - "Depressive" Right Side of Neck - "Manic" Feet - Hello Kitties Right Sleeve - Alice in Wonderland Left Sleeve - Wicca stuff (going to be covered) Back of neck - Egyptian cats and scarab Chest - Cancer survivor Lower Back - The four elements Abdomen - Art nouveau (to be covered at some point) Right side - Angel Right thigh - Fairies (FINALLY in the process of being covered by Cerberus, Medusa, and the Minotaur) Right calf (outer) - Kabuki Right calf (inner) - Persephone Left Leg - Female superheroes (debating whether to finish it or cover what's there) You can visit my business website to learn more about my studio. Go to www.artifextattoo.com My experiences: Nobody's perfect. The finishing touch Fun with frenums. People Cooler Than Me Chip - My kite string. Phish - A shameless self-promoter?? Dave - Mesmerized by blinking fans Elayne - A sweetheart if ever there was one. My old pincushion Rev. Tod Almighty - Looks smashing in a tiara Sky - The Yoda to my Luke Skywalker Gaylin - She's a total MILF Barry - A great man making great jewelry Derek - Cynicism never looked so good Tania - Has a nice weiner Blue Light Special Photo from UV experiment

Stupid stuff

2007/02/28 22:47 I am sick of the word "sick". I hear it ALL THE TIME in the studio. As in, "Dude that tattoo's gonna be so 'sick'!" It drives me nuts. I want to know who the first person was to use the word in that manner so I can punch him (I has to be a man) in the ear. Chris did a really weird tattoo on Monday. Chip drew it, but the guy didn't want to wait a month to get the tattoo done, so Chris did it instead. It's a rooster hanging from a noose on the outside of his calf. So now he has a cock that hangs below his knees. It's kind of funny, but not the sort of thing I'd want to have permanently emblazoned on my body. I'm not sure the ramifications of the permanence of such a thing has really sunk in for the guy. But he was really happy with it. It's the little things at the shop that bug me. The stupid repetative crap we have to deal with all the time. Like people trying to bring their kids with them. Why would you do that???? We have three signs ourtside the shop that state our no children policy. People still bring the little fuckers in. And the ones who don't seem to understand that illegal means illegal. We don't give a shit of your parents will sign for you or you'll sign for your kid, it is ILLEGAL to tattoo minors in New York. I gaurantee every time someone asks how old they have to be to get tattooed, the next question that immediately comes spewing out of their mouth is "Not even with a parent?" I just want to say, "Can your parent sign for you to get alcohol or cigarettes? Illegal, people. Look it up!" And the fucking tweens throwing a fit when we won't pierce them because they're not 16. "Well, so-and-so in my class has one." They didn't get it here and neither will you. Now get your whiney ass the fuck out! I don't say that, but we all know I'm thinking it. What gets my goat is when the parents get pissed at us because we won't poke holes in their undeveloped and irresponsible brats. Jeebus! Whew... it feels good to get THAT out of my system. I mean, it wouldn't be bad if these situations just happened on occassion. But it's every day. That's why it gets on my nerves so much. Plus, the radio made me feel old the other day. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was playing on the classic rock station. *sigh* I know that technically, it's classic rock because it's more than 15 years old, but come on. That was the rock anthem of my middle school years. I think of classic rock as Kansas or The Police. Speaking of, I bet their tour isn't coming anywhere near here. Chip and I would love to see them, but we're not driving to NYC or Philly, so we probably won't catch them. What are we going to catch??? 300 OPENS NEXT FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!! We have been so psyched about this film. I don't care what anybody says, it's a film, not just a movie. We first saw the trailer back in December or so, and have been looking forward to it ever since. Woo hoo! What's your beef? (4)

UGH!

2007/02/18 23:06 I have to get up EARLY Tuesday for jury duty. Bleah. I have to report to the Broome County Court by 8:30. So not only is it boring, but inconvenient as well. Last time I was summoned for jury duty I got out of it because I was still in treatment for thyroid cancer. No life threatening illness to interfere this time. Just my luck... I really hope that the case is short because Chip's birthday is next Monday. I don't want to be dragging my ass to court still instead of spending the day with him. He's actually taking the day off from work. The summons states that I have to wear "appopriate dress" so I guess the 7 inch platform heels, denim mini skirt, and "Do I Look Like a Fucking People Person?" shirt are out. I hope they're not too offended by my mohawk, but they don't have an "appropriate hairstyle" clause. I'd be tempted to show up in whatever the hell I want to, except I don't think it would be worth going to jail for contempt of court. I'll just keep my contempt to myself. UPDATE The guy copped a plea right before jury selection started. I was only there for half an hour. I still get paid for one day of service (a measely $40, but $40 nonetheless) AND my name won't go back in the jury pool for six more years!!! So aside from having to get up a 7 AM, jury duty was feaking awesome. Order in the court! (1)

Is it May yet?

2007/02/09 18:14 In all fairness, I have no right to complain... especially since areas further upstate have had over 10 feet of snow in the past two days, but it's fucking COLD!!!!!!! We haven't had snowfall of more than an inch at a time, which is incredibly rare. But I'm getting really tired of the cold and the arctic wind blowing through New York. So, yeah. I haven't been on here in two months. I guess I just haven't had much to say. A few things have changed. I decided not to become a SuicideGirl. Once they accept a photoset, it's theirs forever. And they can do WHATEVER they want with the pictures. I decided that I don't want naked pictures of me on the internet that I have no control over. And I figured out (I think) what I'm going to do with myself career-wise. I have begun making jewelry. It's an eclectic mix of fine jewelry, chainmail, and knot work. I'm enjoying it. I've always loved jewelry. Sad but true, I used to watch QVC for hours on end looking at jewelry. I had never really thought of it as a profession. But it's a great creative outlet and it's something I can do on my own schedule. It doesn't matter if I'm having a day when my hands are shaking since I can make jewelry or not make jewelry as I choose. I think I'll post some of the pictures that were taken for SG here, since they won't be using them. No nudes though, so don't ask. Not that a lot of you would probably want to see me naked anyway. Clothes can be a girl's best friend. I just logged back in and one of my new pictures was the login "welcome screen". I bet that will never happen again. I'm still alive! (5)

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