Ren   
I'm a quiet mostly tomboy...

...28 years old and just starting to figure out that I dont have to be the person that everyone wants me to be.

[I am a book addict. Help feed my habit. Mwah!]

Words are the physicians of the mind diseased. - Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC), Prometheus Bound.

Girlpaladin - lots of personal info, rarely updated, due for a complete overhaul soon.
Silents.......... - my mental health website, mostly info about self injury and depression

I am quiet but not shy, clinically depressed and medicated for it, surprisingly optimistic about my future, and struggling 24/7 against self injury.

I'm 5'2" tall with very short almost black hair and green eyes. I love my hair even though its already going grey. I love my eyes even though they're nearsighted. I don't know my weight and even if I did, I wouldn't tell anyone. I am ashamed of how fat I am. I am ashamed that so much of my self esteem and self worth depends on my weight and I wish more than anything that I knew how to change that.

I hate having my picture taken so much that Ive started telling people that its against my religion. I hate when family members ask if I have a boyfriend yet so much that Ive started telling them that I have a secret lesbian lover. I mean no disrespect to those for whom religion does prohibit photography, nor to those who actually do have lesbian lovers.

I dont mind contradicting myself. I am a very devout athiest but I find religions fascinating. I'd like to be a Buddhist, but I believe in the death penalty too strongly. I'd like to be Wiccan, but I dont believe in a higher power, male or female. I don't believe in past lives, but if there is such a thing, I must have been a man more times than not, because I sure do make an awkward woman. I'd like to believe in reincarnation because there are far too many things that I want to accomplish and I'd hate to think that I'm blowing the only chance that I get.

I consider my stubbornness one of my best qualities even though it occasionally makes me look foolish. I dont like loud voices or yelling. My dog is the best roommate that I've ever had. I think that people could learn a lot from animals if they paid attention. I love to travel. I sometimes come across as a know-it-all. I usually dont mean to. I want to be a forensic anthropologist when I grow up. I work in a medical lab. I believe that everything in life is a pass or fail test. Dont ask me what my grade is right now.

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Click here to see the iam.bme personality disorder index on mwieland's page!

2/09@20:01: (non-iam)*48 (Zombieville)
1/28@4:43: resilient (Columbia)
1/10@19:07: sonny brown*3 (Cambridgeshire)
1/06@20:25: Escopeta (Portland) via main page
1/03@13:28: Hols (Northampton)
12/27@23:32: c3bxd*18 (Lacey)
12/12@8:50: Illuminotti*6 (Philadelphia)
11/09@11:00: modan (Anaa)
11/08@18:57: silverfox (Bossier City) via offsite link
11/04@19:50: jam*2 (Bristol) via offsite link
10/28@1:25: namuzi () via main page
10/21@19:04: NameLess (Bournemouth)
10/04@10:16: redconsensus (Baltimore)
9/30@22:23: success breeds envy (Alexandria)
9/26@22:19: OpenMindedFreakOut (Germantown)
9/24@10:47: knightrider (Bournemouth)
9/24@8:59: soraya*3 (Detroit Wayne Co) via offsite link
8/26@15:12: danni_action (Toronto) via offsite link
8/22@19:12: melkor (Saarbrucken)
8/20@0:30: paboy69*3 (Calgary)

My experiences:
#1 - inner conch
#2 - tongue
#3 - verticle hood
#4 - triangle
#5 - hood punch
#6 - stretched lobes
#7 - vacuum pumping

I have friends...
winterblur
winterblur
decemberdenise
decemberdenise
jenwe
jenwe
squiggle
squiggle
lextalonis
lextalonis
photo14u
photo14u
wave
wave


I am a wolf
*growl* 

You have:
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
situational depression
clinical depression
manic depression / bipolar
anxiety disorder / panic attacks / ptsd
obsessive compulsive disorder
an eating disorder
self injured, past or present
two or more of the above
a disorder not listed here
emotional stability

View Results
Self injury (not scarification) is:
a new trend
an addiction
a coping mechanism
a psychological disorder
bad, but not bad enough to be a disorder
something only crazy people do
selfish attention-seeking
i dont know and dont want to know

View Results


I'm not ashamed of who I am
Ears

1/2" lobes: etc.
Tongue

2 gauge tongue
Lip

inverse vertical labret: (the so called ashley piercing)
Private Parts

Warning:: My private parts are pierced. These are the pics.
Tattoos

ankle vine: first session
Mods present and future:
2006/01/25 23:16

Piercings I want:
-madison with surface bar
-princess albertina
-8 or 6 gauge fourchette with barbell
-tiny horizontal bridge
-hood split
-4 gauge dermal punched upper ear cartilage

IM me if you have any advice or
information about any of these.

Piercings I have:
-5/8" lobes
-6 gauge upper ear cartilage (x2)
-14 gauge tragus (x2)
-10 gauge conch
-2 gauge tongue
-12 gauge inverted vertical labret
-12 gauge hood (removed)
-6 gauge triangle
-10 gauge fourchette (rejected)

2005/05/09 22:14

my pet!
adopt your own virtual pet!

Wild kingdom in my front yard!
2004/09/23 20:37

Dude, it's like wild kingdom in my front yard this evening! I came home from work as usual and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. I let the puppy out of her crate, grabbed her leash and ran to the front door. She's far from being housebroken and I learned the hard way that when she's been in her crate for several hours, every second counts. I walked her out the door and there on the sidewalk directly in front of my front door was a frog. A huge frog. I swear he was the size of my fist. I was afraid the pup would go after him, so I dragged her back inside and grabbed my digital camera, but every time I tried to take a picture of him, he'd hop out of the frame and I'd end up with a picture of the sidewalk. Don't worry, I'm not going to show you pictures of the sidewalk.

Mr Frog hopped a few times, and then I heard a rustling in the grass next to the sidewalk and all of a sudden a snake slithered out of the grass. I snapped some pictures of the snake, trying to get the frog in the shot, but Mr Frog was really moving at this point and I can't say I blame him. I don't mind nice tame friendly pet store snakes, but the wild and unpredictable ones make me a little nervous.

Mr Snake
Mr Snake and a blurry Mr Frog as he's hopping off into the bushes.

The snake and the frog both headed for the bushes and I figured Mr Frog was going to end up as Mr Snake's dinner. Poor Mr Frog. I waited a few minutes and then took the pup for her walk.

As I was coming back towards the apartment, there was Mr Frog, sitting in the grass almost exactly where he was the first time I saw him. I picked up the pup because I was afraid the snake might still be nearby, and took her back into the apartment. I grabbed the camera again and finally got some good pictures of Mr Frog sitting in the grass outside my front door. Hi Mr Frog!

Mr Frog 1
Mr Frog 2

I ate dinner, fed the pup, played with the pup and then took her outside again. It had been a few hours, so I didn't really think about the frog or the snake, but on my way back into the apartment, there in my front bushes was Mr Frog! He looks pretty comfy.

Mr Frog 3
Mr Frog 4

I think I've been adopted *g*. I'm just glad Mr Frog made it through the whole ordeal. I hope he's more careful in the future. And if he's going to keep acting as snake bait, I hope he moves back down to the stream at the other end of the sidewalk!

Kodiak the Dog
2004/09/13 22:47

Kodiak, aka Kody:

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