27
the hot chick on set
freelance camera assistant (IATSE Local 600!)
vegan
DJ/musician
artist/designer
photographer
skateboarder/snowboarder
tattooed, pierced, and proud
The opportunities to creatively express the self are infinite and should not be restricted by age or lifestyle. At least that's what I believe.
I've moved around a lot and the pendulum has swung back and forth from heavily modified, to polo shirts, back to ripped t-shirts and stretched ears, through the years to laser removal, re-piercing, opening up again, re-stretching, retiring, rebirthing.
If we look at body modification as the essence of change, of constant motion, of constant progression, the outer edge of an orbit upon which we sit forever, it doesn't matter how big your ears are or whether you have tattoos, scars, or both. What matters is that you are able to do these things.
Phase two has begun. I am eliminating the parts that do not work for me; the tattoos that do not fit, and replacing with ones that do. If only because of all the past pain and self-loathing I have experienced, I feel that I owe it to myself to finally feel good and true about who I am.
Plus, I'll be damned if I'm gonna wake up at age 40 and wonder what I missed out on. Regret? Pshaw.
black white green new hair and my ugly shower curtain
Mod-Tracker
WINGS
finally complete, my wings: by Sean Marsh at Black Orchid in Savannah, GA
14g industrial, left ear
Industrial Love, Retired: I had this for a while but when I bumped it on the long eyepiece of an Arricam, it had to go. Now I just have a helix piercing on the outside. I saved the barbell though!
Jack Skellington tattoo
What's this...?: Jack, circa May 2002...it is hard to take a photo of your own arm...
2009/06/23 08:58 I finally just coughed up 10 bucks to extend my Iam membership by 6 months. I haven't written in this thing in ages and don't even know where to start, except that I'm finally planning a coverup piece for my left ankle since it's finally light enough, and I'm also designing my camera tattoo for my right arm, and possibly something for the left wrist. Ink ink ink. I need to go back down to Savannah anyway to talk to the school/a lawyer about some red tape bullshit involving things that happened when I worked there. Also, I am hoping to get my nipples re-pierced soon and am contemplating, of all things, a nostril piercing. And that's about it. The film industry is finally picking up enough so that I'm working. I decided, however, that I don't really want to flood this journal with film talk and would rather discuss, god forbid, the rest of my life. Which I'm hoping to expand on. It's about goddamn time, right?
Speaking of "about goddamn time", I guess in the past 5 years, I've pretty much come full circle, and I feel absolutely no remorse or regret about it. I spent 5 years waffling about all kinds of petty self-image shit, subconsciously punishing myself for the way I used to look or the decisions I used to made. And I basically decided, enough already. Other people treated me badly enough; why should I then make it any worse for myself? I am still proceeding with the tattoo removal treatments, but now my motivation is to make way for better work. I still pierce random holes in my face and do crazy shit to my hair. I feel far more secure in my image now than I did when I was floating aimlessly in the no-man's land of sales at American Eagle, Abercrombie, the Gap, and Old Navy. I mean, christ...I live in New York City...I'm not stuck down south anymore, I'm not living with my parents...it's about goddamn time I just let myself be who I really want to be. So yeah. All systems go.
Anyway, that's about it, as of late. Itching for more ink and a little nervous about both the cost and the pain of redoing the nipples. Still on the fence about the nostril- I'd probably get a stud and not a ring. But OMG what if it hurts? Ha ha...just kidding.
2008/08/20 23:56 6.5 hours' worth of additional work later (1 4-hour session of shading the existing outline, 1 1.5 hour session of drawing new outline, and 1 1 hour session of shading new outline!), about $650, and my wings are now complete, courtesy of Sean Marsh at Black Orchid. And goddamn do they look the way they should've been all along. I can't believe for 7 years, I walked around with that unfinished jailhouse outline crap on my back. And I really have to give credit to Sean. Not only was he up against someone else's work, but it was someone else's BAD work. And we had to do 3 different sessions, so he had to not only anticipate being able to match the old design, but blend it as well. It would be like bringing in a director of photography from the freakin ASC to match footage from a crappy commercial shot on Betacam. In theory, it was easy enough to fix up what I had, but to make it even bigger and better, was really hard. But he did it. So now, I have a tattoo artist, and it feels good. There is a level of trust and communication that I think is finally the way things should be for me, as far as making good decisions about what I want put into my skin. And maybe down the road, I'll look at this and think of things we could've done a little differently, but everything is like that. You can never fully anticipate the future...you just have to keep working with what you've got. Cause after all, what else is there?
Anyway. Photos and experience to come soon. I'm in the middle of all sorts of crazy shit right now. Moving back to New York on Saturday, then blitzing off to Connecticut pretty much immediately, to work on pickups for a National Lampoon feature (don't get excited, it's straight to video, although most of the people involved are union, so that's cool)...then after that short gig (2 shooting days), catching Amtrak to Providence to load on a 35mm feature for 2, maybe 3 weeks. Then finally at the end of the month, I'll be back in Brooklyn to look for apartments with Alexa and have a little downtime before starting The Apprentice in October. We shoot that for a month, then if I have enough money, I might take a weekend trip to someplace pretty and shoot up to Boston for Thanksgiving. So there's November, unless something else big comes along. By December, I'm hoping to have enough money to get through most of the winter, or at the very least, some sort of game plan to either make money during the slow times, or do something interesting that'll get me through it. If things REALLY pull together, it'll be the camera repair stuff as my own business/apprenticeship. Or possibly working as a TA at New York Film Academy again, which I think would be fun.
Whatever happens, I'm not worried. I'm kinda sad to be leaving because I really do enjoy the job...it's just everything else...Savannah...SCAD...feeling like, wait a minute...I've already BEEN here. And so maybe it's true...maybe you can't go home again after all. Well shit. At least I tried....
wow it's been a while
2008/08/02 13:51 I slacked on writing in this journal again. I have been talking to Jordan about writing for BME on a more formal basis, so that's exciting. I already have some ideas for articles and interviews.
I reintroduced the 18g eyebrow ring because I missed it. The lip ring is back and forth...I have mixed feelings. My ears have suddenly decided to react badly to the Kaos Softwear skin eyelets out of nowhere. I don't know why, maybe stress? So I took them out for now and I feel empty. I'm also contemplating sizing up my conches since I have now lost every piece of 10g jewelry I own anyway. We shall see.
I fly back to New York on the 23rd. NO RETURN FLIGHT. God it's weird...I haven't quit a job in a long time...I hope I can assimilate successfully back into the freelance world.
I also have tattoo ideas. More about that later.
nu metal
2008/06/24 23:31 Today I acquired a 16G CBR on the right side of my lip. It looks like it's always been there. I think the lip ring will be like...the new eyebrow ring. For me, my eyebrow ring was sort of that last vestige of, "Normal?! Nah..."
Anyway. No swelling thus far. :knock wood: Photos to come.
