2009/01/28 19:57 Suffixes
Seriously, this is one of the most overplayed MySpace trends I've ever seen. It's like "Hey, this word has similarities to my name... SUFFIX!" Need some examples? TorreyTerror. SheaShattered. ChristiCreation. HaileyHiatus. And then one of the worst I've heard: KaylaKnives. There's THOUSANDS of people with these damn suffixes... and if you're going to use a suffix, at least have it make sense. Torrey, you're not terrifying. Shea, you're obviously in one piece. Christi, I haven't seen anything creative come out of you. And Hailey? Hiatus is sometimes a euphemism to represent unemployment... you bum. And just for fun, let's call out EricaCellophane. Congratulations: you've plastered your own plasticity.
Bush-Bashing
I'll be the first to say I don't know much about Bush. I don't jump of the figurative ass of politics and ride it all the way through. But I do know how unfair it is to completely shred a politician for making a few mistakes. Everyone wants to point the finger at Bush. Well how about this... you guys go out and become politicians and run for president. If you get into office, I'd like to see you do a better job. My point? It's not easy, people make mistakes, and I doubt Bush is really a bad guy. War-Bashing We're in Iraq JUST FOR OIL! OMFG! St00pid! Alright then, let's see you live without a car and electricity. Better yet, let's see you live without plastic. Oil is a resource that we absolutely thrive on, and without it, our economy isn't recessed; it's non-existant. There are soldiers out there protecting us and fighting for what we have, and all you people want to do is talk about how stupid they are. As said many times before in these situations, get the fuck out. But really, how stupid is it to fight over oil? You know... like Pearl Harbor and Battle Of The Bulge...
Prep-Bashing
They like light colors? You like dark. They like mainstream music? You like "underground". They play sports? You sit at home and get fat. People are different, but what gives anyone the right to criticize anyone based on their lifestyle? Grow up and take a look at the awesome people you're missing out on.
Bashing In General
Stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution. We all have the right to complain sometimes, but not all the time. Strive for change or get over it. And before you guys say "But this whole blog is bashing!" take into consideration the fact that I'm sharing my opinion in hopes that someone somewhere will stop and think to themselves "Hey, he has a point."
Sex
I don't care what you do with your boyfriend/girlfriend/both? and I'd really appreciate it if you could keep your sex-life to yourself. And just for the record, I HATE talking about my sex-life. I'll stick to the facts and say "Yes, I did indeed fuck her", but don't ask me to elaborate past that. I won't even talk to the person I'm with about what we do. And I don't like it when people ask questions like "What would you do if I did this?", trying to act sexy and all. This kind of thing is an action and for me should remain an action. And sex isn't the biggest thing to me. Yeah, it's cool, but that's it. I would accept a completely platonic relationship if meant being with the person I liked. So don't try to judge me like you would most other people in this context.
False Physical Fitness
I hate it when people PATHOLOGICALLY LIE about their own fitness, strength, endurance, and weight. I work out a lot, it's a bit of a hobby for me, and I do it purely for myself. I don't do it to impress people (although it's always nice to recieve compliments), I don't do it to kick people's asses, I don't do it to appear like more of a man. I do it to stay healthy and to challenge myself. And I can't tell you how hilarious it is to see tiny emo kids claiming to weigh 200 and put up their body weight. I don't weight much and I'm not that strong... I really don't care. And this leads me to my next trend... Supplementation Speculation I've actually been criticized for using suppliments. At the moment I use protein and creatine, but I plan on adding glutamine and nitric oxide. First off, these are NOT steroids! They're chemicals that naturally occur in the body. Some people take vitamins, some people take supplements for specific parts of their body... well, that's what I do. Supplements are like vitamins for body builders. For me to work out the way I do without supplements would actually be dangerous. They're not drugs in any way or form, and they're use does not make me any less Straight Edge.
Twilight
Alright, I'll admit that I haven't read the books or seen the movie... so why do I hate it? Well, it's not really Twilight itself that I hate, it's more of the worship of it. EVERYONE is reading it, and there's people with posters and clothes and everything related to Twilight. Good job! You've bought into another form of marketing consumerism!
Physics
I LOVE physics. I don't know what it is, I just find it all so interesting. But if you don't know what you're talking about, then don't open your mouth. For me, one of the most flattering things a person can do is shut up when they don't know what I'm talking about and listen until they pick up on it. Furthermore... "A Wrinkle In Time". Enough said.
Guitar Hero
Try playing a real guitar.
GTA
Try picking up hookers and shooting people in real life.
Texting While Driving
Seriously... I don't care how good of a driver you are or how many times you've done it or any of that shit, you're putting the lives of yourself and your friends in danger, it's not worth it. At least call them rather than text! And it's not the driver that I don't trust, it's every other driver on the road.
"Pet" Names
"Sweetie! Darling! Baby!" All that shit... alright, I'm going to be honest, sometimes it's cute. HOWEVER! I've talked to a bunch of people (one in particular) and they sound so horrendously artificial when they say it that I actually take offense. It starts sounding less cute and far, FAR more condescending.
Death Metal
Never before has there been such a collaboration of unoriginality. I like a handful of Death Metal bands, and those are the bands that bring something new to the genre. And the general public isn't afraid of your music taste; they just think you're stupid.
Tough Shit
Life sucks sometimes, we all get it. But it's time to get over it and move on . And before you point the finger, think to yourself... maybe it's my own hypocrisy that makes my advice so genuine.
Gay Jokes
I don't take offense to them. Calling me gay is like calling me black: it's obviously not true and you look like an idiot for making the accusation. Although the word "faggot" is a different story. Then you're implying that I'm unintelligent also, and I don't like attacks against my intelligence.
Kandii
There's really nothing wrong with it, it just annoys the living hell out of me.
Lawsuits
People make mistakes sometimes, no sense in ruining their life over it. I'm sure there are exceptions, but come on, this shit's gotten out of hand. Example: let's say you slip when walking into McDonald's and sue for damages. Let's say you get a multi-million dollar settlement. Think about the person responsible for that slip... think about the TINY little mistake he made, and think about the repurcussions that will follow him for the rest of his life. Is it worth it?
"That's what she said!"
WHY would she say that?
Whores
God damn it! W4W!!! No... What really gets under my skin is when people request you just to increase their damn friend count and then plaster that number all over their page. I remember deleting a girl once because the suffix to her heading said "37.5k+". Here's a reality kick to the face: you don't have that many friends, few of your "friends" read your bulletins or blogs, and if your goal is to obtain some sort of MySpace fame then you really are a fucking shithead.
PC4PC
Why the hell does everyone demand picture comments? If I've got something nice to say, I'll say it. But really, there's only so much I can say to 2000 pictures that all look the same. Hair Extensions It's not your hair... in fact, it probably used to be someone else's, so that's kind of disgusting. And most of you can't even pull of the look in the first place. Actually, don't even try to pull off "the look", because it looks shitty.
Self-Piercing
You shoved a safety pin in your lip... and talk to a piercing artist about it?
Hair Dye
It's really a shame to see some really pretty girl dye her hair some obnoxious, disgusting color. Some people naturally look good and shouldn't try so hard to look crazy and different and be a non-conformist. And some people don't look good at all and need to stop trying.
Relationships
Alright, maybe I'm on my own here, but I think people have really started overreacting when it comes to the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Your relationship sucks? Break up. You like someone? Tell them. They don't like you? Move on. The whole thing seems to have gotten blown out of proportion and I think people are flipping out over stupid shit.
Computers
No, your Dell is not better than something I can build. And yes, I can build a computer that will FAR surpass your PS3. And God damn it, no, I will not fix your computer!
Blogs
Why the fuck do I even bother writing them?
Hippies
Peace, love, equality, happiness! The 60's are over, grow up a little and realize how damn stupid you are. There can't be peace without war, there can't be love without hate. Equality makes a bit of sense, but it's not going to come easy.
Manga/Anime
Eating Pocky and Ramen while watching Naruto... yeah, you're cool. I know anime freaks, and they're disgusting. You, on the other hand, are not as disgusting as they are. We have the high ground, you cannot win.
Fetishes
God damn it people, what DOESN'T turn you on?
Tila Tequila
For fuck's sake, the bitch is an idiot! Sure, she's mildly attractive (physically) but she rose to fame through hollow lyrics that cater to an understimulated audience. That, aside from her MySpace (amongst otherwise natural) whoring nature.
Photography
So you took a picture of something no one gives a shit about and you made it greyscale... holy shit, all of a sudden it's art. SO many people think they're amazing because they can do mild editing of photographs, editing that would only impress the very old or very young. But even if you know all the technicals like depth of field, apertures, lighting, exposure, allll the crazy stuff... that doesn't make you an artist. Kill yourself.
Music Playlists
A song on your profile is cool, it can open us up to an artist we haven't heard before, but 200 on a customized, randomized, and now criticized music player? Come on, no one's going to listen to all your damn songs. Hell, few people are on your profile long enough to get through the first song, and if they're anything like me, they probably pause it before it even has the chance to play.
Icons
So you found a couple of funny pictures and stuck them on your profile, cool, whatever. But when you spend hours on end searching for icons that really "describe who you are" to add to your current plethora of, get this, icons that say the exact same thing... yeah, at that point you're wasting your life. I had a girlfriend that would spend all of our time together searching for icons for her damn MySpace.
Anonymous
It was cool when it was unknown and it was cool to be a part of something. Project Chanology is pretty cool and the chans are funny sometimes and I do enjoy some of the internet memes... But when you really get down to it, Anonymous is a bunch of pissed off nerds that want to get back at all the people that have exploited their little inside jokes. Don't believe me? Make a list of the good Anonymous has done and then a list of the bad, no matter how insignificant.
Cybersluts
Enough with the neon dreads already! Go to the "rave scene" and you see people with neon (fake) dread locks, doctors' face masks, and massive platform boots. Come on, get some creativity. And just because you like techno or industrial or whatever the fuck you kids are calling it these days, you're not some crazy rave enthusiast. I've been to raves, I love industrial, but I'm sure as hell no rivethead. And don't talk about your love for technology if you know nothing about it.
Japanification
I like a few animes, I've read some manga, and I've been to an anime con. Cool, whatever... I've got friends that like to dress up as fictional characters for fun, and in all honesty, I can see potential for how that could be fun. But what's with these people that lose their mind over anything Japanese? Japanese soda! Japanese candy! Japanese books! Everything is fucking Japanese! Heads up, you're in America, you're white, and you'll probably never get laid. Like import literature? Cool... But when it gets to the point that you appreciate something just because it's foreign, something's wrong. If you're a dude that's obsessed with Japanese culture, take a knife and cut your cock down a few inches to be just like them. I enjoy my stereotypes.
Politics
You hate the war, you hate Bush, you hate corporate America. You sleep under the blanket of freedom that this country provides for you and you hate them for it. Don't like it here? Get the fuck out. But I can respect your opinions and I'm always up for political debate... but God damn, fucking know what you're talking about! "I hate Bush because he made us go into the war." Yeah, you're an idiot. Once again, kill yourself.
Scene Kids
It's like all the terrible 80's Hair Metal bands had Faglets with My Chemical Romance.
Guitars
EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY GUITAR! But whatever... I play, a lot of my friends play, it's a great instrument and it's really fulfilling. But hey, you know what? Power chords aren't impressive. So don't come around playing Smoke On The Water and then get pissy when you see someone far superior economy picking a riff they bullshitted in the past few seconds. Know your superiors and respect their abilities. And for God's sake, stop giving up.
Cutting
People stopped paying attention to that a long time ago. You're not going to kill yourself and you're not original. Bitch Persona Since when is it alright to take pride in being a bitch? It's not a good thing! You're basically saying "I'm mean, I don't give a shit about you, and I'm a parasite." Maybe some dudes are attracted to that sort of abuse, but the good ones aren't. Maybe you think you're hard because you've got the balls to admit that you can PMS, but you're really nothing intimidating at all.
"Guys are terrible!"
So shit went south with your boyfriend... again. You're crying your eyes out and bitching about how much you loved him and how you're sick of things like this happening and how you can never seem to find the right person. You people talk about how you want to find someone that cares about you and loves you for who are but you can never seem to find what you're looking for. Try this for a change: look at the person that's been there for you the whole time.
Massive Cocks
Most dudes are lying about the size of their penis. It's funny though, because they're usually trying to one-up their other guy friends rather than impress girls. Got a 12" cock? That's great, I don't care, I'm happy with what I've got. And personally I'd rather not cause my girlfriend massive internal bleeding.
Comments
What the fuck is there to say? If ANYTHING, I'll just message it to you.
Orgies
You hear about them, you see them, you want them... but you never get in on them.
WiFi
Can't help but wonder... when you see the people sitting in Starbucks, Burger King, McDonalds, or whatever other places now have hotspots with their laptops... well, what are they doing that's so important that they can't wait to get home? Oh yeah, their on MySpace messaging all their friends about how cool it is that they're on MySpace in some random location.
Belt-attached cell phone holders
...mere millimeters away from your pocket, yet you can't spare that distance to answer that call.
Hardcore dancing
Spin kicks, twirls, fist pumps, flips... It looks like you're fighting invisible ninjas to some random 'Core band. It gets in the way, it's annoying, and the next time I see someone whirlwinding my way I'm going to stick a machete up.
Weed
I get it, you're a stoner. Stop proclaiming it to the world.
Body Modification
I'm not going to stand in the way of anything anyone wants to do to themselves... Hell, I'll probably help them do it. But don't claim to be a body modification artist because you cut people with X-Acto knives and stick safety pins in your friends. And don't you fucking dare try to school me on body modification; I'm no professional, but I'm sure as fuck no newbie to this. And what happened to the days when mods actually meant something? Dedication tattoos, piercings as expression, rituals, rites of passage. Yeah, it's cool as hell, but come on, put a little more meaning into it. And what happened to the concept of strength through wounding?
Going Green
Since when does everyone give a shit about the environment? Ah, since celebrities started giving a shit about it. Dude, there were problems with the environment long before now... It's like being Eco-Friendly is the new cool thing. I can just imagine watching Cribs (which I also hate) in a few years... "Yo, welcome to my Crib. This bitch is 100% off - the - grid. That's right, the electric company pays ME. That's what I'm sayin'".
