age: 23 since September 15th, 2007 / favorite thing about me: I am persian & white ; beautiful combination (thanks to mom & unfortunately dad) and spent most of my time with my grandpa & grandma while growing up
CURRENT ADDICTIONS:
men in business suits.... I know I know, it's crazy but to me, if he is good looking and steps into a suit, he's my drool toy mmmmhhhh / eye makeup / shiny lip gloss / dark hair / pink / piercings / tattoos / Ritas italian ice gelatis / great weather / glitter / Sephora / BEEN ADDICTED TO: T.T. lounge bubble tea
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 's
my 5 kitty kats (minus 1, RIP eli), my grandma & grandpa, all my gurls, my car (thas my numba one, sorry boys), anxiety that always comes before getting pierced, the rush I feel afterwards, my piercer: Jessika (River City Tattoos), rap / reggae / slow jams, candles, a guy who smells good enough to lick :-p, a guy who LETS me lick him! lol, my family, my hometown... yes I know I complain about it many times but I still get sad when I drive away from it, Richmond Virginia
MUSIC I'M LUVIN:
XM satellite radio: The City, Raw, The Heat, and The System
MY TRUE LOVE:
Sport bikes. 1995 Honda F3
XXXXXXXX (dislikes) XXXXXXXX
crying from emotional pain, racism, gurls that are two faced & talk shit, being alone, feeling alone, people who judge, people who look at me differently now that I am adorned with jewels & art, the fact that Bush is trying to Illegalize abortions... thats taking choice away from Women... how dare he do such a thing when he never has to really face pregnancy the way us women do... men can't become pregnant (period) therefore they should not have the final say on what we choose to do, & lastly, boys who try to control me
4 kanji symbols on muh upper spine/ "immortal" on upper back/ a beautiful dragon near my kit kat/ the symbol for "respect" beside the dragon/ "Anoosha" written over my left breast/ 3 paw prints around my ankle, inner leg/ script across my lower back (tupac's lyrics *RIP*)/ "rydah" on right upper thigh/ **IN PROGRESS** backpiece, cupcake on ankle/outside, "silkee" on top of foot, "shortie" June 13th, 2007 (*RIP*), "804" southside below pantie line/top of thigh, 3 custom drawn butterflies on ribs, "lil nsha" on wrist/inside
5 lobe piercings (all standard, mall gunned ears) 1 rejected/ 1 right cartilidge/ left nostril w. a bling bling / both nipples NOW 12G/ 2 (1)14G & (1)12G inner labia piercings/ 12G vertical hoodie, tragus w. a bling bling
RETIRED or REJECTED
4 14G horizontal hoods (they pissed me off :)) / 14G septum *the retainer kept flying out my nose *sighs* it had to go* / 12 G right nipple (that bad boy endure much abuse :)/ 14G surface clevage piercing/ 14G navel 2nd time gone / 14G center labret - Retired / 16G bridge - Retired, 10G tongue - Retired
RECENTLY STRETCHED
None
A WARNING TO LADIES... w / w.o. GENITAL PIERCINGS
ladies, I'm warning you *sighs* watch for soap trailing off to your neither regions while showering.... get that stuff outta there!!! stick w. just sea salt soaks and be very careful. Problems with tha kat are NOT fun, the treatments arent a joy either.
NEXT TATTOO
to be determined
MY PIERCERS(give em props):
Sean Phillips http://iam.bmezine.com/?LexTalonis
Jessika Simmons @ River City Tattoo co. in Richmond, Virginia
5,712 lovely people have come to give me kisses :)
2006/01/12 22:35 True depression, anger, and loneliness has surrounded me for the past few months..... this song by Kirk Franklin speaks to me:
I never had a chance to dream / ten years old and finding love in dirty magazines / Now I'm thirty plus and still paying the price // Shout, Shout, let it all out / these are the things I can do without so come on //
Sex was how I made it through / without someone to teach you love what else is there to do........
See, I just wanna let it go, Jesus please, on my knees cant You hear me crying / You said to put it in Your hands and Lord I'm really trying.....
Light that night momma died, its hard to let go / If your momma is still living treat your momma right / Don't be like me and you cant take back what you say
GOD BLESS
Sunday, November 20, 2005
2005/11/20 22:58 LAST NIGHT I FELT SAFE......... BECAUSE YOU WERE HERE NEXT TO ME......
Last night I visited the Richmond social for a small bit, damn tequilla makes me sleepy. Saw Trey (poisioned youth), Robin (phoenixxx), Jenn (pea), and Cere (cere) to name a few. Left around 1:30am to go home and relax for the rest of the morning.
Mike and I had been calling eachother over the night to get in touch and see what our plans were for the evening, his was going out with his brother to club razals and me going out with sara to get a drink at tgi fridays (them ultimate o's are awesome, YUM). Been nervous all night because I was missing Mike so much because we hadn't seen eachother since Halloween and been playing phone tag a lot, plus I needed to tell him what's been going on with me which made my stomach turn because I'm afraid to lose him..... he's been so great to me over the past few years as a friend and over time, I have been falling for him other than a friend and have become comfortable with how I am feeling for him.
Mike came by around 2:30am, my heart had never beaten so fast. I was happy to see him, he was looking very nice dressed up for the evening. We sat on tha fouton like we always do, made him watch Cheaters (show is nice), and almost tortured him with cartoons (lilo and stich anyone) but didnt. Then after about an hour with laughs and cuddles.... came the time to talk to him......
All I said was I cant somethings wrong, I gotta tell you something..... he was like what's wrong???? I couldn't speak, I wanted to cry, I wanted to kiss him, wanted to make this all go away...... there was silence, Mike waited, and I finall uttered what the problem was..... and that I am going for a follow up Tuesday to discuss my results. He said he appreciated me telling him. I whispered I care about you too much to put you at risk....... and burried my head into his sweater. We layed there, he dozed off, I kept looking at him, thinking of how things were before I went to visit Wayne. I'm fucking crushed that this is happening.
Mike and I were cold so we went to my room to sleep at around 4 am. I was relieved when Mike opened his arms to hold me for us to sleep. It felt so good being in his arms. For the first time living alone, I slept with the door open to my apartment because I felt safe with Mike. Through out the night I kept tossing and turning, not wanting to disturb Mike but I just could not sleep. I was still upset with myself..... with whats happening, how now I put Mike in a situation that we were never dealing with before. Mike asked what's wrong, my body was uncomfortable. Mike moved with me to keep comfortable and always kept close with me through out the night. I wish I could have him over every night to just cuddle with and wake up to. The hardship began almost 3 weeks ago.... All for what? for Wayne! If I could turn back time I would have never EVER left for IKEA and would have gone straight home.... oh Lord how I wish I could turn back time.....
Thursday, November 17th
2005/11/17 22:20 My mood is somber..... numb...... a bit calm because I'm starting to feel sleepy. These past few days have worn me down, the crying, the questions, the thoughts, the pain, the feeling of being alone, the two sides of myself that will need to choose, the need for guideance, and the desire to attend Church so I can at least be true to someone in my life, the one person who will always listen.......
Sent Wayne a message through a college server, saying please call me, need to talk about something important. I was shocked to see he had called a few hours later twice with me missing the first call and catching his second....
I stepped out the classroom, answered quietly, and simply asked Wayne how he's been taking care of his own health...... told him what has been happening with me lately, what Ive been going through, what I've been told, what treatment I'm receiving..... Wayne listened quietly, asked questions, and told me to call him as soon as I got out of class.
Spoke to Wayne again a few mins ago, the tone between us was soft..... with concern evident. I wanted to tell him I was scared, I wanted to cry but I didnt..... there was silence after Wayne listened to what I was going through..... we both didnt know what to say...... Wayne said he will keep me updated and will call when he finds out something. I think he is thinking of what's going on now. Part of me wants to reach out to him and comfort him if he does the same for me...... I've known him for almost 4 years and I know he did not knowingly give this to me.... I believe its better to keep in touch with someone who is going through the same thing as you are as long as they arent a negative part of your life...... I dont know. Talking to him tonight, telling him whats been going on was part of the healing, part of the release...
Now the biggest challenge will be telling Mike. I am not worried about the "infidelty" because there is none, me and Mike are NOT in a relationship (I never cheat or stray physically from someone I'm exclusive with, ever) but worried about Mike's reaction. I am glad I posed no risk to him prior to me seeing Wayne because I was NOT infected a month ago. We'll see what happens. I hope God doesn't choose to take a great man and friend from life because of this unfortunate situation.....
Sent Wayne a message "been real scared.... appreciate you calling to talk, thank you" and he responded "no problem" "I'm sorry that this is happening" ....... yea, me too
