2008/05/10 22:45
it's been a long time since i've been inspired enough to hop on here and write the inane babble i tend to, which i get little to no response from, and in the end i might as well be using word pad. or so i feel. unless someone shows naked pictures of their lonely/attention-craving self (present company NOT excluded) or otherwise shocking and amazing in some 'holier-than-thou' moded quasi-popularity contest then you get little response. which is not to say that there isn't more one can do to promote their page; their thoughts; their lives... it simply feels like it's too much to ask for some intriguing human corespondance here.
don't get me wrong, i know you care. i know you would defend yourselves as if your very honor was on trial. no need. it's just clear to me that this isn't the place for me to spout. i may be back. might want to surf your pages again, raise an eyebrow at certain galleries or chuckle along with the attitude we chose to present ourselves with. but for now, i opt out.
sorry glider, i'll support you again later.
and for any random person who might understand it, here's what i finally did today:
i need a challenger. bring your quarter roll, finger bandaids, and call out of work. it's gauntlet time.
|
|
2008/04/22 01:26
tonight i shed a tear for spike. i can't ever say why it grabs me... there's just something about blue. something beyond me that i feel i want... yet it's already a part of me that i forgot.
and i realize...
i'm already blocked.
when i start to feel, i shut off.
safe. hidden. justified.
i can't remember the last time i let it out... to the point of tears.
i don't ever want to forget.
life is just a dream, you know...
|
|
2008/04/16 23:37
but i'm pretty sure that life is awesome right now.
i'm busy as shit in a compost heap, but i'm feeling awefully fortunate right now.
hey, i'm not gutting cows for nickels. or blowing goats for quarters. just really feeling like there isn't enough time to do all the great things i have to do!
need sleep still. i suck at that part.
i apologize for the mundane-osity of the post, brain is drained after d&d. yeah, i'm that kind of dork too. word.
|
|
2008/04/08 04:22
i wonder if what could be said with the dying breaths of each night is all we have to offer. that is to say, i wonder if those around me now understand how life grips me at times. each word meaning the most, as if it may be the last i might hear. mean it like we have something to live for and die for. at least to understanding that the line i draw nearer to is cause for doubt in the idea i'll still be around tomorrow, exactly as i was the day before. my consistency of character is not the same shade i would have painted years ago. i wonder what i would have to do for that to be known. disappearing wouldn't be enough, apathy is a prevalent mind set in my circles. or uncertainty at least. cause enough for more missed chances at near-life experiences.
focusing seems hard for most these days. myself not excluded. to think of what one could stand to lose... well, it always seems to bring me back to the heart of the matter. and when i spend a little time with Jack, i feel like we should start packing. to him, abandonment is just an ugly word for someone trying like hell to take a swing at life. facing losing it all at the chance of realizing what one really has.
and you were wondering 'what line?'...
|
|
2008/03/28 00:26
so i have little basis to go off of and figured i'd throw out a line to whoever may read this.
very exciting, finally started to gauge up my ears. went from 14g to 10g. really, for the stretch, wasn't bad at all. felt a bit of a pull to the end of the taper, but the actual rings were quite comfortable. so, yay! many thanks to my mentor for being the smooth man he is! thanks, Rob.
went about my day fine and dandy. bout three hours later, after a hot shower and some more coffee, i got a severe migrane. white outs and pounding headache. this lasted into the next day when i had to call out of work. as i write this, about 36 hours later, i'm going fine. the stretches haven't given me any difficulty at all, cleaned and hydrated them appropriately.
so i'm juz askin if anyone has had a triggered migrane or severe headache from a stretch before. i don't honestly see them being directly related, but the physical stress may have added to it... especially when logic dictats the shock should have had a much swifter effect, not a delayed one.
|
|
2008/03/24 22:51
so i've been giving it an honest go. guitar hero 2 at expert.
up until last week i had done 7 of the 40 songs with relative ease.
so i start it up again.
blaze through tier 3 and 4 in a night. didn't even blink at war pigs.
stumble a bit through 5 and 6 another. stop was even fun.
then the heavy weights start comin.
ripping though madhouse and yyx with maybe a couple retrys. but smiling at how i was makin it happen.
psychobilly freakout gave me a run for my money.
regardless, i ground up all of tier 7 tonight... after a days work and even by beer two.
beast and the harlot was easier on expert, flowed better.
Institutionalized, Misirlou, abd Hangar 18 whipped my sorry, finger-trippin ass into shape... repeatedly. with due diligance, i learned the songs and squeezed by with star power extreme. proud as hell to be the only one amoung comrads, that i know of, who can even achieve said difficulty.
then song #40. the all too well known and overly-shouted... LONG ASS, drab -by-comparison song.... freefuckingbird.
it begins.
i feel relief compared to the shred of megadeth.
i go 100 measures without missing a note.
it warms up a lil.
my sense of ease shadowed by a looming danger sense.
feeling like Indy grabbing the idol.
it finally breaks into the groove.
i'm smilin, my roommate's strapped to the couch edge...
then comes an 8 measure, tripleted, crammed tighter than a 3 year olds... yeah.
i flat line.
i'm not smiling.
i'm not moving.
all tension flushes from my being.
and the only thought i can gather is:
"what did i just do with the last 5 minutes of my life?"
butt-fuck nothing.
|
|
|
