I'm not the run of the mill teenager, more or less a normal person. In a small town that composes the middle ground of an out laying hick community and the opposing out laying hippie community, I am still an out cast. I love body art and openly support it, though it has never made my life easy in this town I will never surrender my love for it. I love art in general, music being one of my favorite genres. I have loved computers since I was younger and though poor I have managed to keep up roughly on the technological revolution. I am open minded in comparison to the average joe and even to the not so average joe. I love analyzing social structures and philosophy is one of my favorite sciences. Science is, strangely enough, a huge part of my life. Aside from that I love living life to its fullest. Summer is my kind of season, my friends and I usually camp and swim as an addiction. I have alot of friends, alot of friends that normally wouldn't combine, but in a town like this, you never get what you expect. So my life is built of the wonderful people in it and the great experiences life brings.
*Piercings*
Lobes:
2g
Lip (right):
16g
Lip (center):
14g
Tongue:
2g
Industrial:
14g
Nipples:
12g
Septum:
14g
Eyebrow:
14g
Bridge:
16g
Conch:
14g
*Retired*
Nape:
14g (1 in.)
Nape:
14g (1.5 in.)
Lip:
14g Snake Bites
Bridge:
14g
Eyebrow (about 7 times):
16g-14g
*Ink*
My Nickname "Epic" on my right arm.
A Music note behind my left ear. One of three as a friendship tatt.
An old school inspired piece on my stomach (yet to be colored)
"Flowers In The Attic" an image of Jason Byron on my chest.
1,268 People Think Im Hot.
1: (non-iam) was here*545times (From Zombieville) at 2/09@22:01, .
2: encanta was heretimes (From Baltimore) at 12/07@1:09, via main page.
3: insatiable was heretimes (From Atlanta) at 12/06@1:20, via main page.
4: abeo was heretimes (From Tulsa) at 11/09@21:28, .
5: DrGreentThumb was heretimes (From Mc Kinleyville) at 10/19@23:12, .
6: RyanGwS was heretimes (From Ashland) at 2/25@21:23, .
7: alice.white was here*3times (From North Little Roc) at 2/24@0:50, .
8: Dark Vegan was heretimes (From Southampton) at 2/23@21:19, .
9: patrickkoning138 was heretimes (From Ijsselstein) at 1/27@7:43, via offsite link.
10: HorrorWhore was here*2times (From Bend) at 1/23@22:59, .
2007/03/08 15:05 I hardly ever will post a blog on here, I usually post on MY JOURNAL, other than that I use my messengers and myspace to communicate, though I never mind where you show me love.
Dreaming.... I Think.
2006/12/07 10:03 Its cold as I sit in my chair staring deftly at the screens ahead of me. My mind numb to the fact that time is slowing creeping towards the early hours of tomorrow. I have come to live in a world between worlds, a world defined for those who are deemed 'normal'. I live today and tomorrow as the same day, I wake the same day I fall asleep. This habitual cycle has made life with others, social life, hard to exist. While most are fast asleep I stay up, the ever present dry layer over my eyes as I forget to blink, the hours slowly creeping by.
I think Im going to write something, about the dream(s) I have when Im awake... or asleep, I can never really tell anymore.
2006/04/09 05:37 I hate that everyone thinks they know how I feel. Most people just assume that from what they see they can derive what I feel or think. I hate how Im suppose to feel certain ways too, I feel the way I do, Im sorry everyone wants me to be different. I feel like an asshole.
Just because Im wearing all blue doesn't mean its my favorite color. Just because I kiss one person doesn't mean I don't care about another. Just because I don't do something for you doesn't mean I don't care enough to.
I hate hearing that I shouldn't care about certain things too, now that I have a girlfriend. I didn't just sacrafice all my old feelings to get into a relationship. My past didn't just disapear. Most people are the same they just cover it with how they think they are suppose to feel. I hate how most of the time I just try and be upfront with how I feel and no one really wants to hear about it. Its like the millions of dying kids in africa, everyone lives happier not having to think about it even though it still happends. My feelings are often those kids, dying of starvation or miliaria. Is it wrong to be attracted to more than one person, is it wrong to still care about someone if you are in a relationship? I dont understand where these things came into play, but its society lying to its self hoping no one notices the next persons flaws.
My friend Matt and I were talking about this kind of thing in a way, but not with emotions but society. Our government has taken so much from us and made us think we are lucky, which in a way we really are. But I like these two quotes.
"People shouldn't be scared of their government, governments should be scared of their people."
"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government."
I think we could use an overthrow or just a good scare to the government. Im not talking about anarchy or stupid shit like that, Im not talking about chaos Im talking about liberating that which we should understand, the government works for the people not the other way around. People forget this, people find it easier to be told how to be instead of trying to be what they feel they should be.
My ranting is over, I just need to get things worked out in my head.
So I Can't Sleep
2006/04/09 05:36 I feel likes its getting harder to draw a breath each day that passes. My mood is bordering a undefined and extremely unconfortable unstability. I lack definition at this point, it feels like, well like spaces "lack of gravity". Most just think space is devoid of gravitational pulls, which in reality though it gives that effect its really just a bunch of gravitational pulls negating one another. I think that is what is going on inside me. I feel like there is nothing inside me, while at the same time I think it might just be alot of things countering one another. Maybe I have a great bliss building inside me and its simply being countered by a masked dread.
I dont konw why I feel like this, that is the worste part. I am so... undefined. I just dont know what to feel about anything. I have a feeling in my stomach that reminds me of when you are about to have your first kiss with someone, the feeling is almost to much to handle but you hope its worth whats coming.
I want to be unbelievably happy.
"Anything less than mad passionate love is a waste of time"
Life is too short, you live it but once. Im wasting precious time.
On a lighter note, my arm is acting up and I fear I might have to find some way to sooner or later get the reconstructive surgery on it. 20 is on its way and I already feel like I'm twice my age. The answers are like that word on the tip of my tongue that I just cant think of. The questions too, find them selves right out of grasp. Without one you dont have the other, I would just like to have both.
